Written by Wire Piddle
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Friday, 15 November 2013

image for Sir Paul McCartney Has Morphed Into K.D. Lang
Thought she was a woman but she was another man.

TOKYO, Japan - Currently in the midst of his 'Out There Tour', Japanese concert goers have noticed something unsettling about iconic megastar Paul McCartney's aura. With a career spanning over half a century, the permanent teenaged Mop Top seems to have quietly morphed into aging lesbian, K.D. Lang.

"We don't understand this concept," one bewildered man from Osaka explained. Having been a life long fan of the McCartney, Mr. I. M. Lmao extorted, "I pay many yen to see happy talk but get a Canadian lady with toe ring."

Although Mr. McCartney was not barefoot, the Beatle boots, hiked up dress pants and morning coat on the body of a senior citizen with rolling jowls and fluffy hair did come across as slightly less than masculine.

It was also noted earlier on tour that his band were given strict rules regarding curfew, no drink, vegan only diet and staff tweeted pictures of their dire living accommodations which suggested large floral print wallpaper and frilly pillows.

Some fans tweeted back that in Paul's day, that kind of regulation within a band would have prompted either mutiny and/or throwing televisions out of hotel windows.

When asked about the circumstances, one band member who wished to remain anonymous stated, "Well he's the boss and it's still a bit of a lark. Besides we're really not into post menopausal women which seems to be the bulk of the audience."

The possibility that some radioactivity may have unintentionally ended up in the band's drinking water is being quietly investigated, something local press has been suppressing for fear of large scale riots or, more bizarrely, requests from private companies to be able to bottle and sell the stuff.

One pop music commentator who had been covering the scene since its inception summed it up best - "Well, in the end, the drugs, the women, the music - turns them all into their wax museum clones, or at the very least, pre-embalmed living cadavers."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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