Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 1 November 2013

image for Madonna Says That Joan Rivers Needs To Retire
Madonna has said that Joan Rivers is 93 but she looks 103.

NEW YORK CITY - If there is one person who cannot stand not being in the limelight it's Madonna the former Material Girl and now Material Granny.

Madonna recently told Larry King on The Viagra View that she really thinks that Joan "The Moan" Rivers needs to retire from the business and move down to Florida with the rest of the rich, elderly New York City Jewish population.

The "Papa Don't Preach" singer said that Joan has been using the same jokes for four decades. She said that her joke about the little six-year-old Swedish girl and the anorexic woodchuck has probably been heard more times than the "Star Spangled Banner."

Madonna added that Joan now looks like a space alien and she has had so many facelifts that if she has one more she is going to end up with a goatee.

Joan Rivers got wind of Madonna's caustic remarks and she said that Madonna is the only woman she knows who has stretch marks on top of her cellulite.

Rivers pointed out that Madonna's landing strip is so big it could easily accomodate four big C5A military cargo planes.

SIDENOTE: After the show Larry told the producers to try and see if they can book Madonna and Joan Rivers to appear on the same show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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