Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 30 October 2013

image for Snooki Polizzi Devastated At Being Eliminated From Dancing With The Stars
The size 2 sneakers that Snooki used when she was a high school cheerleader.

HOLLYWOOD - Snooki Polizzi was literally shocked when she heard Dancing With The Stars host Tom Bergeron say that she would be the one going home on the show's latest episode.

Her eyes welled up with tears and she buried her face in dance partner Sasha Farber's chest.

Bergeron told her to face him so that he could ask her some questions and she did not respond.

An inside source said that the pint-sized 4-foot-7-inch Polizzi was overheard whispering "Tom, leave me alone you bitch. Can't you see how utterly devastated I am dammit."

Tom had to physically manhandle her so that he could ask the obligatory question "Snooki tell the viewers in the audience and the viewers at home, exactly how you are feeling right now"

"You want to know how I am feeling right now butt ball?" She asked.

"Yes" came the reply.

"Well, Mr. Tommy," she said with tears in her eyes, "I feel like someone just took out my tonsils by way of my anal cavity. I feel like Wynonna Judd after someone has stolen her tray of cornbread. And I sorta kinda feel like I just gave birth to a baby the size of a Kia Spectra! But other than that Tommy, I am one friggin happy New Jersey guidette okay!"

Bergeron turned as red as a Seattle strawberry and said "And on that note, we'll bid everyone a good evening."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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