Written by Auntie Matter
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Thursday, 24 October 2013

image for Here Comes "Hyper-Removal"
Example of "hyper-removal".

The US Government on advice from the CIA have coined a new word 'HYPER-REMOVAL". CIA Director Kant Giffafuck said: "The word is a sister of "Overkill" which is now common parlance and has more or less the same work to do. We have ordered our PR Agency, the press and media in America and around the globe to make frequent use of the term so that it is firmly implanted in people's head as a bonafide word among others and equally meaningless especially when accompanied by television pictures. In much the same way indeed, as we replaced "intelligent scrutiny" with "conspiracy theory" to keep people permanently confused and so protect us from the inquisitive who think they have democratic rights to know of our private affairs... or some such lunacy.

Mr. Kant refused to elaborate further, but it would seem that the word is to prepare people for the US's possible use of chemical weapons in the near future.

"HYPER-REMOVAL" will refer to the horrifying kind of genocidal deaths inflicted by such means. But with judicious and frequent use it will be perceived by the mind as an inoffensive phenomenon and subliminally even as a "good thing", a subconsciously accepted charitable gesture on a par with "ethnic cleansing".

Hollywood is currently working on novel ways to bring 'HYPER-REMOVAL' into popular currency; and comedy script writers are working up gags to ensure that the public's understanding of the word is as removed as far as humanly possible from what it actually means.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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