News reaches your humble news scavenger from across the pond that media ho Kim Kardashian and her 'baby daddy' Kanye West are not stopping at just one cardinal direction when it comes to naming their future offspring.
The queen of US reality tv released a statement yesterday via her publicist, Tracy Muffbagger:
' Ma Man and I are just so happy at the totally AWESOME birth of our daughter North, that fuck it, I already told ma man we better be doin' a little more 'somethin' somethin' about hiding the sausage, as I want the whole collection now, and ma life just ain't complete without South, West and a precious little East to complete our bitchin' family.'
Despite Ms. Kardashian's largely ridiculed decision to name her child after a dirty great sea that contains the odd oil rig, it appears that 'North' was not the first choice for the couple.
A source close to the couple stated:
'Hell no! 'North' was TOTALLY not what kimmie's first choice was, and she was kinda disappointed she didn't have a boy. She TOTALLY loooves that little bitty tin of tuna y'all have in England, and 'John' West was the front runner if it was a boy, in fact, that is all she ate when she was expectin'....Kanye was thinkin' she be giving birth to a fish, not a baby!'
MTV roving reporter, Cash Cashman, was able to grab a word from the proud father himself, as he left to attend a star-studded charity fundraiser in aid of his career yesterday evening, where he revealed:
'Look man, I don't know nuthin' about what ma woman says. I didn't want no 'North' name anyway...I wanted 'Haverford' West 'cos Wales is just bitchin'...look at the pussy they knock out. I mean have you seen Catherine Zeta Jones, ma man? Now Micky D has been kicked to the kerb, I'm hoping that hot little piece of Welsh ass is in the house tonight'....
..oh yeah homie, but don't tell ma woman.'