Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 19 October 2013

image for Chelsea Handler Admits That If She Was A Man She Would Be All Over Jennifer Aniston
Chelsea recently told Katie Couric that she is much prettier than Angelina Jolie.

LOS ANGELES - Chelsea Handler has stated on several occasions on her TV talk show Chelsea Lately that contrary to widespread rumors she is not now nor has she ever been a lesbianite.

Handler said that she thinks that the vicious gender rumors may have been started by that little Canadian brat Justin Bieber who is a first class practical joker.

The dishwater blonde talk show host did reveal to Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors that if she was a male that she would be all over Jennifer Aniston like newsprint on a magazine.

Handler, who is 38, has said many times that if she had a choice she would strictly date black guys. She grinned and said that the bruthas seem to be attracted to her because she is the epitome of the American blonde.

Angelina Jolie, 44, cannot stand Handler and has said that Chelsea prefers the bros because they treat her like she is some kind of goddess strictly because she's white, blonde, and puts out.

In Other News. President Obama has said that he won $285 by placing a bet to win on a horse named Government Shutdown.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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