Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 25 September 2013

image for Chicharito Tells Cheryl Cole He's Thinking of Retiring
Chicharito says that his professional soccer ball kicking days may be coming to an end. (Photo by Gordon Ramsay).

NEW YORK CITY - Manchester United's Chicharito has dropped a bombshell and told his girlfriend Cheryl Cole that he is contemplating retiring from the world of soccer.

The 25-year-old said that he wants to go into acting and has been encouraged by Eva Longoria and Robert De Niro.

Chicharito whose real name is Javier Hernández Balcázar told Silver Screen Showcase Magazine that he has been offered an acting role in Bandini Borrapelli's motion picture The Drug Lords of Durango.

The movie will be shot on location in Chicharito's hometown of Guadalajara, Mexico.

The Lion's Door film will also star Al Pacino, Johnny Depp, Sofia Vergara, and Scarlett Johansson, with a special appearance by Willie Nelson.

Cheryl Cole, 30, has been offered a cameo role as a mariachi singer. She told Chicharito that if he does decide to retire then they will really get to spend a tremendous amount of time together and enjoy vo-di-oh-doeing much more than they do now.

SIDENOTE: Cheryl has hinted to her boyfriend that she would like to have a baby especially since her biological clock is ticking and tocking at a high rate of speed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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