Written by Steve Shaw
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Topics: New York, Comic Book

Sunday, 16 November 2003

image for Hulk Porn Greeted With Bad Press
'Hulk In The Pants' Action Figure

NEW YORK CITY-Comic book legend Stan Lee announced that the release of Marvel's new adult movie ‘Hulk In The Pants' will be delayed due to the string of bad press the unreleased movie has already received from critics.

"We thought that with the success of ‘The Hulk,' there would be a vastly open market for Hulk porn. I mean, c'mon, look at the guy. When he gets angry, he gets really, really big. Don't tell me there isn't any kind of kinky market for that stuff," said Lee.

The movie, set to be released by Universal Studios came under fire when commercials for Hulk porn toys were broadcasted around the world. The toys, manufactured by Mattel, are still sitting in huge quantities in warehouses across the country. "Whenever we send them out to stores, they just send them right back," said Jenny Andros, a marketing VP at Mattel. "Our research specifically showed that kids love Hulk toys…it only made sense they would love Hulk porn toys."

Critics who saw the 'Hulk In The Pants' called it ‘Pointless,' and ‘Absolutely without taste.'

"Without taste?" said Lee. "Who could possibly say ‘Hulk In The Pants' has no taste? And pointless? When was the last time anyone saw a porno with a point? Answer me that."

Given the nasty public opinion of ‘Hulk In The Pants,' Marvel has decided to scratch or at least delay other super hero porn flicks. "We had spider-man slated to appear in one. The Dare-Devil was also supposed to have his own. I mean, what woman has not wanted to sleep with a blind man before? We were going to give the Punisher his own, but we figured that the whole abuse fetish was pretty much covered in ‘Hulk In The Pants.'" said Andros. She then added, "The release of XXX-Men is the only movie we're still seriously considering, but don't quote me on that."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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