Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 14 September 2013

image for Chicharito Convinces Cheryl Cole To Get An Intimate Tattoo
Cheryl showing the English belt she was recently given by Queen Elizabeth.

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - English soccer player Chicharito, whose real name is Javier Hernández-Balcázar and his girlfriend English singer Cheryl Cole were down in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico relaxing in the warm Baja California sun.

Chicharito decided to take his girlfriend down there since she was feeling a bit disappointed and dejected at not getting the judges slot on Simon Cowell's X-Factor.

Cheryl said that the two open judges positions went to Kelly Rowland and Paulina Rubio.

She said that she really and truly feels that she deserved to get one of those chairs because she has known Cowell longer than the entire judges panel; including Demi Lovato together.

Redwood Fingerboo with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle who is very good friends with Simon Cowell noted that Cheryl did not get the judges spot because of her excessive demands.

Fingerboo said she wanted a $4,000 per week clothing allowance, a $1,000 per week makeup allowance, use of a Cadillac Escalade 24/7, and fresh fish crumpets flown in daily from Great Yarmouth, England.

Meanwhile Chicharito who plays for The Manchester United Red Devils said that he cheered Cheryl up by buying her a brand new fully loaded 2014 Lamborghini.

He then said that he wanted for her to get an intimate tattoo. She was a bit hesitant at first but after a few minutes Chicharito was able to convince her with his Latin charm.

Cheryl asked him where on her body he wanted the tattoo to be placed.

He grinned and said he wanted her to get the word VIVA on one side of her crack and the word MEXICO on the other side.

In Other News. The African country of Loombeezi has informed the United Nations that it has decided to cancel its planned attack on New Zealand. No official reason was given.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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