Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 5 September 2013

image for Simon (Cowell) Says It's A Boy!
Andrew Silveman plans to sue Simon Cowell for $73.7 million.

BEVERLY HILLS - Simon Cowell was so happy when he announced that he is going to have a baby boy that he did not realize that he had lost his British accent.

Cowell, who is known as The Count of Criticism among half a dozen other names, said that he is as happy as Adele at a crumpet eating contest.

Simon is quick to dismiss the charges from several members of the news media that he is a homewrecker having caused the divorce between his baby mama Lauren Silverman and her husband (now ex-husband) Andrew Silverman.

Cowell and the then married Mrs. Silverman did the horizontal tango aboard his yacht and their baby-to-be was actually conceived out on the ocean.

At first Simon was upset with Lauren because she had lied to him and told him that she'd had a tubal ligation back in 2003, so there was no way she could get pregnant.

Simon told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that he has forgiven sweet Lauren and he is now looking forward to having a son.

Andrew Silverman meanwhile has hired the New York law firm of Fitzowitz, Straydiddle, & Goldenbocker.

He plans to sue the British music mogul for $73.7 million on grounds of Alienation of Affection, Impregnatory Affairitis, and Illicit Groin Canoodling.

Simon says he's secured the legal services of California's infamous dynamic duo the Allred cousins, Gloria and Ginger.

SIDENOTE. Carmen Electra who was dating Simon before the opportunistic socialite Silverman came along is now also contemplating getting a lawyer and suing Mrs. Silverman on grounds of Underhanded Ipso Shenaniganism.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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