Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 31 August 2013

image for Lamar Odom Is Going Downhill At A High Rate of Speed
Lamar will no longer get paid to dribble a basketball.

HOLLYWOOD - Lamar Odom has had more than his share of ups and downs. In fact his father-in-law Bruce Jenner is beginning to call him the Elevator Man.

Odom, who is married to Khloe Kardashian, has admitted to carousing around with at least half a dozen women. He has said for the record that it was caused by an addiction to oysters.

According to iRumors he has also been alleged to have dabbled in recreational drugs and recreational alcohol in a non-recreational setting.

Regarding his NBA basketball career; it is now a non-career as he has been released by the Los Angeles Clippers.

And on top of all of that he has just been caught on the 101 Freeway driving way under, yes, under the speed limit.

Odom was reportedly doing 18 mph in a 70 mph speed zone. He told the investigating officers that he was merely out enjoying the sights.

"At 4 in the morning?" One of the officers asked.

"And at 18 mph?" The other officer asked.

Lamar responded by saying "Officers I love to gaze up at the stars and the stars are only out a night - kinda like me and my honey bunny Khloe Kardashian."

The officers were not impressed and they hauled the 6-foot-10-inch mess to jail.

He sat there for 5 hours before Khloe showed up with the $15,435 bail money.

Odom was released but before he was, he was told that he will not be allowed to drive a vehicle for one full year.

SIDENOTE: This latest incident could be what finally triggers Khloe to file for divorce from the man that Larry King calls the Self-Imploder.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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