Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 23 August 2013

image for Ellen DeGeneres Denies The Sex Change Rumors
Ellen is thinking about getting her lips permanently lipsticked.

BEVERLY HILLS - Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres told the entertainment media that she has no idea where in the world the rumor of her having sexual reassignment surgery started.

The blonde, blue-eyed comedian, who is married to Portia DeGeneres, said that she is as bewildered as everyone else.

DeGeneres, 55, noted that she even received a call from Vice-President Joe Biden congratulating her on her brave-as-hell decision to become the complete husband in her marriage to her gorgeously svelte wife Portia.

Ellen spoke with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk and explained to her that someone somewhere certainly got their AC-DC wires crossed.

She confessed to Miss Chipotle that she is planning on going in to have some cosmetic surgery, but it will mostly be facial.

DeGeneres said that she will be having her eyebrows realigned. She also remarked that she is having her crow's feet altered to at least look like hummingbird feet.

Miss Chipotle asked her if she is looking forward to being the host of next year's Academy Awards Show.

Ellen beamed with pride as she replied that she is as happy as Kirstie Alley locked up in a Hostess Twinkie factory.

SIDENOTE: DeGeneres added that she is also going to have her ears tucked back, her belly button reduced in size, and she will be getting both of her nipples revitalized.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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