Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 August 2013

image for A Despondent Ricky Gervais May Return To England
Ricky says that his favorite food is beer. (Photo courtesy of Lindsay Lohan).

LOS ANGELES - Ricky Gervais says that if he had it to do all over again he would not have insulted so many Hollywood celebrities when he hosted The Golden Globe Awards Show.

The Mad Englishman, as fellow Brit Piers Morgan calls him, stated that he has pretty much been blacklisted by most of the directors, producers, and even hair stylists in Tinsel Town.

Gervais remarked that even Andy Dick texted him the other day and told him to stop telling comedy club owners and managers that he knows him.

According to one of Ricky's few friends Alec "The Time Bomb" Baldwin, he pretty much shot himself in the foot when he attacked such well-respected Hollywood icons as Meryl Streep, Dustin Hoffman, Clint Eastwood, and Sofia Vergara.

The word spread like a Santa Ana winds wildfire and he was quickly banned from such noted comedy clubs as The Ha Ha Ha Comedy Lounge in Santa Monica, The Giggle Giggle Comedy Club in Cucamonga, and The Laughing Beaver Comedy Club in West Hollywood.

Rick The *ick, as Barbara Walters of The View calls him, has reportedly said that he is so despondent and dejected that he may just return back to his beloved England.

SIDENOTE: Gervais was to have appeared as a guest on the reality show The Cupcake Cookers but the producers nixed him an hour before he was to have gone on. They said they detected a strong aroma of Stella Artois Beer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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