Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 23 July 2013

image for Matt "The Alleycat" Lauer Told To Stop With The Hanky Panky Routine
An alleged photo of Matt and Lucie dancing the salsa at the Plastered Platypus Lounge in Brooklyn.

NEW YORK CITY - An inside source has told the news media that NBC Today Show host Matt Lauer seems to think that he is the East Coast version of George Clooney.

But one look in the mirror will prove to Mr. Lauer that, that just isn't the case.

The man who pretty much single-handedly ran Ann Curry out of town, and has gotten himself in some extra-curricular shenanigans best suited for the likes of Charlie Sheen, appears not to have learned from his past mistakes.

Reliable sources have told National Focus Magazine that Matt The Alleycat, as he was nicknamed by Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo, is at it again - and this time the object of his affections is not co-host Natalie Morales.

NFM's Jefferson Sierra states that the 55-year-old Matt has reached out to Johns Hopkins University student Lucie Fink and the two have become friends.

It is no secret that some time back, Matt's wife of 23 years, Annette filed for divorce from Mr. Hanky Panky because she got fed up with him acting like he was Russell Brand.

But a close friend of Annette's said Mrs. Lauer changed her mind when Matt got down at her feet and promised that his cheating days were over.

NBC has stated that they want Mr. Lauer to stop with his extra-curricular ways or else he may find himself standing in line at the unemployment office.

SIDENOTE: National Focus Magazine reports that Matt and Lucie were spotted having drinks and nachos at the Inebriated Kangaroo Lounge on Sunday night and then they were seen dancing to salsa music at the Plastered Platypus Lounge in Brooklyn the following night.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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