Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 20 July 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan Wants A Baby - California Tells Her If She Has A Baby Her Probation Will Be Revoked
The state of California has said that if Lindsay has a baby she will be sent to prison.

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan still has a little over four more weeks in rehab before she is released.

An unnamed source stated that when Lohan is released she will have to be released under the supervision and guardianship of an adult.

Her mother and father are both out of the question since they are basically in the same space alien state of mind as she is.

Charlie Sheen has offered to take her under his tutelage and make sure that she stays out of trouble.

Comedian Zydeco Dupree remarked that, that's sort of like Wynonna Judd trying to keep Kirstie Alley away from chocolate cupcakes.

The batch of cupcakes will turn into a one for you, one for me type of culinary game.

Lohan told Redwood Fingerboo with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle that she feels in her heart of hearts that if she has a baby, it will solve all of her drug, alcohol, and driving problems.

She said that this way she will have someone that she will have to be responsible for and provide with food, clothes, medicine, CD's, and cosmetics.

Meanwhile the state of California has let it be known that if Miss Lindsay Lohan ever has a baby, her probationary status will be revoked and she will be sent straight to The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women in Los Angeles.

SIDENOTE: Lindsay is reportedly considering several sperm donors including Russell Brand, David Crosby, Charlie Sheen, and surprisingly Vice-President Joe Biden.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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