Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 14 July 2013

image for Cher Admits To Past Lesbian Flings But Says She Is Not Lesbionic
Chaz says that a lot of his weight gain can be attributed to drinking too much beer.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Cher, who is 67, has just admitted that there have been several lesbianite flings in her life.

The former wife of Sonny Bono, who performed for many years as the duet Sonny & Cher, says that she first alluded to this in her 2012 book Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves (And Lesbians).

She said that the name of her first lesbionic relationship was Mindy Nackernester who was the wife of one of her backup singers Cleveland "Mr. Vocal Cords" Nackernester.

Cher said that it was kind of a strange situation with Mindy and neither woman actually got past second base.

She noted that in her next same-sex mingling her and FelaQuandeesha Wellcaster, a pedicurist from Pomona made it all the way to third base.

Cher made it clear that she is not at all lesbionic. She commented that her same-gender mattress merriment prepared her for the bombshell that her lesbian daughter dropped on her about going in to have sexual reassignment surgery to become a male.

Chaz is now 44 and mother and son get along great most of the time when they aren't arguing about Chaz's tremendous weight problem, his political tattoos, or his addiction to lottery tickets.

In Late Breaking News. President Obama has just announced that in honor of Hip Hop Artist's Day (July 19, 2013) he will be changing the name of Air Force One to Air Force It Be The One Bro for that one memorable day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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