Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 12 July 2013

image for Johnny Depp Shocked As The Lone Ranger Bombs
Timmy Singing Bison sings the theme song to the movie The Lone Ranger.

LOS ANGELES - Johnny Depp has told a very close friend that he feels like going into the Witness Protection Program.

Depp made that comment after his latest film The Lone Ranger appears headed for the last roundup.

The actor who just turned 50, on July 9, spoke with Cahoots Wyoming of Silver Screen Showcase Magazine at a local Gunfight At The OK Corral Steakhouse.

Wyoming asked Depp what he thinks caused the Wild West motion picture to be virtually ignored by the movie going public.

Depp took a bite from one of his breadsticks and replied, "Three words partner, Despicable Me 2."

Johnny remarked that he cannot believe that the great Lone Ranger got it's butt kicked by Despicable Me 2, a cartoon!

He took a bite of his Fettuccine Alfredo and said, "Can you believe it Cahoots? A friggin CAR-TOON for goodness sakes. what in the world is America becoming? A land of looney tunes or what?"

Depp shook his head as he took a sip of his red wine and confessed that the Lone Ranger cost $250 million to make and it could end up losing over $150 million.

He paused, poured some Parmesan on his Fett Al and said that he is definitely going to be jumping on the cartoon bandwagon.

Johnny made it abundantly clear that he is going to lend his voice to some cartoon character and he does not care if it is a male, a female, an animal, or a freakin' insect.

SIDENOTE: It appears that Johnny Depp who played Tonto is no tonto, which is spanish for fool.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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