Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 9 July 2013

image for Katy Perry Dissed By Friends For Getting Back Together With John Mayer
John is noted for serenading his girlfriends and making them feel like Queen Cleopatra.

VENICE BEACH - According to several of Katy Perry's close friends the "I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It Singer" needs to make an appointment with a therapist.

Perry has decided to get back together with John Mayer, the man who has already broken her heart pretty close to half a dozen times.

The Player Mayer, who is considered to be one of Hollywood's most notorious snakes-in-the-grass, is known as Tinsel Town's resident heartbreaker.

Mayer has stolen and broken the hearts of such noted women as Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Giada De Laurentiis, Condoleezza Rice, and Taylor Swift.

Perry recently told Regis Philbin on The Viagra View that the last time she broke up with Johnny that she promised herself that she was never, ever going to get back together with the zombie-looking dream-killer again.

She said that he has some type of svengali-type power over women that turns them into little bowls of Jello.

Katy said that two of her very best friends Hildy Puffypaper and Ursula Pizza have told her that she is acting like some boy-crazy teenager panting over the high school quarterback.

Perry insists that deep down inside Mayer is really a good person. She then added that he knows the words and music to every song that The Rolling Stones ever recorded.

She smiled coyly and said that she also likes the way he nicknamed both of her boobs. She said he calls the left one Salsa and the right one Samba.

SIDENOTE: Katy reportedly told Ursula that it's a good thing that she did not have any of the three tattoos with John's name lasered off her body.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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