Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 5 July 2013

image for Paula Deen's Unbelievable Request To NASA
O.J. Simpson has been texting Paula from his prison cell.

SAVANNAH, Georgia - Paula Deen says that everytime she logs onto the Internet she sees where another one or two sponsors and corporations have dropped her.

She revealed to Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle that the latest company to abandon her ship, the USS Buttah, is The Granny Gretchen Gravy Spoon Corporation.

Paula received a text message saying that they do not ever want to see her using one of their gravy spoons again or they will sue her for Ipso Spoonitus Nolo Nopers.

Deen has suddenly begun texting none other than prison jailbird O.J. Simpson, who has defended her by saying that he himself uses the "N" word at least 24 times a day.

Paula told Miss Chipotle that O.J. is a kind man who wished her well and told her that when he gets out in 20 or so years he plans to visit her restaurant in Savannah.

Deen reportedly thanked the former football legend turned prison inmate and said that she will be baking him one of her famous peach cobblers.

Miss Chipotle said that when she spoke to Deen the Southern fried cooking maven was very depressed. Paula asked her why hip hoppers and rappers can use the "N" word in their songs two dozen times and nobody says diddly squat about it.

Paula revealed to Chipotle that just yesterday she contacted one of the flight directors at NASA and begged him to allow her to be put on the next spaceship launched to Mars.

SIDENOTE: Through all of the Paula Deen "N" Word Scandal her husband Michael has not said one word. Paula grinned and said that he's had a bad case of laryngitis for the past three weeks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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