Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 1 July 2013

image for Paula Deen Admits She Once Threw An Empty Dixie Cup In The Parking Lot of A Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck's Chicken Shack
Paula has said that due to this financial mess she may have to end up selling one of her three Bentley's.

SAVANNAH, Georgia - Paula Deen says that it looks like before it's all over she may have to end up selling her beloved Cornbread Acres Estates in Savannah, Georgia.

Deen was interviewed by Vodka Vermicelli with the iRumors News Agency and the 66-year-old revealed some very interesting information.

She told Miss V that she has never, ever used the "F" word, even that time three years ago when she was on the air live during her cooking show and she accidentally burned her left pinkie with a damn bunsen burner.

Paula also mentioned that she has never looked upon President Obama as being half black but instead she looks upon him as being half white.

Miss Vermicelli asked Deen if there was anything else that she wanted to get off of her ample chest.

Paula giggled and told her that she appreciated the humor since she has not laughed, smiled, or even said the word buttah in over a week.

Paula thought for a moment and then replied, "Well ya know hon, I have to confess that back in September of 2011, while I was in San Francisco visiting Alcatraz Prison I did throw an empty Dixie cup in the parking lot of a Captain Cluckity Cluck Cluck's Chicken Shack.

"No?" Vermicelli remarked.

"Yes sweety, 'fraid I did." The platinum-haired cooking maven replied.

Miss V then gave her a high five and told her that the wimpy little weasel Matt Lauer will probably take that and turn it into another Matt Lauer exclusive witch hunt.

SIDENOTE: Paula stated that she may have to have a benefit Southern-style chicken barbecue on her estate to help raise money to pay for her four lawyers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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