Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 2 July 2013

image for Brad Pitt Blames His 21 Pound Weight Gain On Hot Dogs
Brad says that he is not at all happy with Angelina and her secret texting.

NEW YORK CITY - Brad Pitt said that the tremendous stress that he has gone through the past two weeks has caused him to eat like a thoroughbred racehorse.

And as a result he has gained a whopping 21 pounds which he blames mostly on his addiction to Coney Island hot dogs.

Pitt was sitting with two unnamed friends at The Plastered Platypus Lounge. He took a drink of his glass of José Cuervo Tequila and said that he will probably not marry Angelina Jolie after all.

He remarked that she has shown him that she still has some feelings for that bottom-dwelling weasel known as Billy Bob Thornton.

The 49-year-old World War Z actor pointed out that everyday he gets at least a dozen pieces of paper with phone numbers passed to him by young, attractive women who all look like they could be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

SIDENOTE: Word from an excellent source out of Tinsel Town is that Brad's ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston may be calling off her wedding to Justin Theroux due to the fact that she still has fantasies about her and Brad doing the horizontal hula.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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