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Friday, 28 June 2013

image for Kim Kardashian announces she is expecting quadruplets
A man who has nothing to do with this story

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that they are now expecting quadruplets, which for their vast array of low-IQ, sheep-like, celebrity clap-trap fans means that Kim will be giving birth to four babies at the same time.

Speaking to a vast, highly-paid audience of journalists, Mrs West explained that irrespective of their sex, the expected babies would be called South, East, Wesst (the extra 's' to avoid confusion with their surname) and Go.

The four member of Go West - Peter Cox, Alan Murphy, Richard Drummie and Tony Beard - who were also present at the press conference, were said to be so excited by the news that they had been completely underwhelmed.

Speaking in one voice, the band members couldn't be understood, primarily because they were speaking in one voice at the same time.

The couple confirmed that they were hoping to have 28 more children so they could complete the remaining main points of the compass.

The American Social Security Administration were said to be thrilled at the prospect of all the money they would make when the kids reached 18 and wanted to pay to change the names their stupid parents had given them.

One Direction were also considering changing their name to "No Direction" in honour of the West's expected children, as they felt it was a better name in relation to the amount of talent they actually possess.

Some of the names for the couple's future children include: Wild, Wayout, Notleslie (Leslie West being the large lead singer from rock group Mountain - oh I do love "Nantucket Sleigh-ride"), Allpoints, Fractured and Low-carbon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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