Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 June 2013

image for Paula Deen Dejected, Down, and Depressed But Thrilled About A New Job Offer
Paula says that no matter what she wants to remain around food in some shape or form.

SAVANNAH, Georgia - Paula Deen says that she has learned her lesson, and that is that one really needs to keep one's mouth shut when it comes to anything to do with the dreaded "N" word.

Deen talking to Fitzwater Ribicoff with American Spotlight Magazine said that she cannot understand how someone like movie producer and writer Quentin Tarantino can get away with making a movie Django Unchained that uses the "N" word 110 times and she merely says that she used it 20 years ago, and she gets treated like she's that hate-filled Omarosa.

She thought for a moment and said to please change that to Tokyo Rose.

The 66-year-old gal from deep in the heart of Dixie said that she has not only lost her very lucrative Food Network show but also her book deals, her pots and pans commercial, her job as spokesperson for Hey Y'all Cornbread, and her Paula Deen Bobblehead Doll contract.

But the huge platinum-haired Southern grandma proudly said that even though she is dejected, down, and depressed she is happy to say that she has been offered a job to work at a local McDonald's in Savannah.

Paula beamed with pride as she told Mr. Ribicoff that the Mickey D's manager Clydell "Bubba" Shimmyshill, III, has offered to start her off as a French fry cook and possibly move her up to the drive-thru window within a year.

SIDENOTE: Paula smiled and whispered to Ribicoff, "So you see Bubby, when 13 doors done go and close in your face another one will open up some where's else. Honey, my heart is so warm right now that it could melt buttah in half a second."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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