Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 25 June 2013

image for Katie Holmes Says She Misses Tom Cruise As Much As Lindsay Lohan Misses Her Late-Night Partying
Katie recently bought 7-year-old Suri a horse drawn carriage with two white horses. (Photo by Cyndi Lauper).

NEW YORK CITY - Katie Holmes watched 7-year-old daughter Suri board and a plane to visit her father out West in Tinsel Town.

After Suri left, Katie broke down and said that she cannot stand being alone and wants to get together with some guy but pointed out that there is no guy that she knows that she can trust.

Holmes told her next door neighbor identified as Flomeesha Huckinglook that the few guys she has gone out on dinner dates with tried to get to second base before the desert even arrived.

The 34-year-old ex-Mrs. Tom Cruise confessed that a part of her really misses Tommy. When her friend asked her how much, she replied a lot and then added, even more than Lindsay Lohan misses her late-night partying.

According to Hollywood Innuendo Katie recently went out with a young lawyer named Amstermund Palmetto, 35, from Staten Island. She said everything went well until they got in his car after watching the Brad Pitt movie World War Z and then Palmetto turned into Manny Many Hands.

She said that she ended up having to bite his right elbow and his left ankle because he wanted to play you touch mine and I'll touch yours.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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