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Sunday, 23 June 2013

image for Whaddyamean 'Kevin Spacey is Star Trek actor William Shatner's son?'
Sure has some cute chromosomes!

Los Angeles - A celebwatch site has named Captain James T Kirk actor William Shatner as Kevin Spacey's birth father following months of crafty DNA sleuthing.

According to LA FagHagSlagMag.con editorial sources the 53 year-old Consenting Adults and The Usual Suspects star has previously been mistaken for another Shatner hush-hush love-child, the French product designer Philippe Starck, 64. [WTF that? 'Ed']

"We reckon Shatner boldly went where no man's been before," the gossip site's culture editor Lobelia Periwinkle hinted today, "although at this stage it would be grossly unfair to name Spacey's real birth Mom."

For the last 10 years Spacey has been based in London where he has worked as the autistic - er...artistic! - director at The Old Slick, one of the City's oldest theaters.

"That's where the DNA was harvested," Ms Periwinkle explained.

"William Shatner was in the audience on the opening night of the Spacey-directed Fat Cat On A Hot Tin Roof - a play about the Lemon - er... Lehman! - Brothers crisis.

"That's where covert geneticists swabbed him to make the case for the paternity link."

Spacey is a well-known pal of that other ham-actor William Jefferson Clinton who the LA website reckons is the bastard brat of Brit design hoaxer Sir Terence Con-Artist.

Last year Clinton, Spacey and Con-Artist were guests of honor at Queen Elizabeth's Diamond Jubilee celebration concert during a sleepover at Windsor Castle.

Pals now expect Kevin to be gonged-up in the next new Year Honors 'for keeping his mouth shut' about what really happened that knight.

Former Star Trek co-star Leonard Nimoy is 104.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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