Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 26 June 2013

image for Paris Hilton Wants To Squash Those Silly Lesbian Rumors
Paris has denied that she is a lesbianite. (Photo courtesy of "El NiƱo.")

LA BREA - Paris and her mom were having breakfast at the world famous La Brea Tar Pits Diner when she overheard someone in the next table mention the word lesbian.

Paris put down her chorizo and egg breakfast taco and asked the woman if she was talking about her.

The woman became very embarrassed and said that she had just read in The LaLaLand Daily newspaper that she and Chelsea Handler were rumored to be involved in a lesbionic relationship.

Hilton shook her head and asked what the heck a lesbionic relationship is.

The embarrassed woman replied that it's when one woman wants to do the hokey pokey with another woman.

Paris said she knows what lesbians do and said that she had never heard the word lesbionic before.

She was told that it is a new term that most probably first started in San Francisco.

Hilton told the woman that she can rest assured that she is not lesbionic in the least since she likes anatomically correct guys.

Paris then told her that she most likely had her confused with Jodie Foster, Meredith Baxter, or Jane Lynch.

The woman apologized and told Paris that she would pay for her and her mom's meal. Paris handed her the bill and told her that she also needed $15 to buy a La Brea Tar Pits souvenir.

In Other News. The South American country of Bolivia has just named Sarah "Snowflake" Palin as the most hated woman in the history of femalehood.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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