Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 19 June 2013

image for Miley Cyrus Confesses She Hates The World of Drugs
Miley has just stated that drugs are for losers. (Photo courtesy of Willie Nelson).

BEVERLY HILLS - Miley Cyrus is still quite devastated at the fact that her parents Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus are getting divorced.

The ex-Hannah Montana star told Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres that she is so upset she cannot stop eating Twizzlers.

She said that she was introduced to the strange, twisted candy by her BFF Demi Lovato.

Miss Zeppelin asked Cyrus how she was coping with the divorce. She rolled her eyes and said that she would rather have her tonsils removed through her belly button than to see her parents split up.

Miley said that her dad knows over 200 knock-knock jokes and her mom can take road kill and make it taste like Chateaubriand.

The 20-year-old singer then confessed that she realizes that the world of drugs has caused her to look at life through a false lens.

She smiled, took a bite from her Twizzler, and said that she hates the world of drugs. She then paused and said that she has no idea how in the world Willie Nelson, who is 80, does it.

In Other News. GOP political mouthpiece Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter says that the rumors about her and rock and roller Ted Nugent sexually cavorting down in Tijuana, Mexico are 100 percent false.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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