Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 15 June 2013

image for Katy Perry Reveals Her Catalina Island Love Nest
Katy says that the bed in her Catalina Island love nest once belonged to Marilyn Monroe. (Photo courtesy of Paco Peso).

LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry says that contrary to some of the rumors that have been circulating out of the Left Coast rumor mills she is not planning on getting back together with the jerk known as John Mayer.

Katy told Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo that whoever gave John the nickname the Player hit the damn, freakin' nail on the effen head.

Perry went on to say that she should have listened to her friends, family, and Michelle Obama who all warned her about the female disrespecting louse.

She noted that even Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Ke$ha, and Taylor Swift all told her that Johnny is nothing but a Pecker With Feet.

Katy was happy to tell de Gallo that Mayer is now in her past just like her Brit husband Russell "Sniffles" Brand.

She then confessed to him that she has just purchased a wonderfully erotic love nest of a home on Catalina Island, where she hopes to entertain some nice, caring, considerate, and non-egotistical men.

In Other News. Nigel Lythgoe who produced American Idol said that he was fired because a lot of Americans complained that they could not understand his heavy British accent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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