Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 10 June 2013

image for Simon Cowell Shell-Shocked After Being Pelted With Eggs During The Britain's Got Talent Finale
This carton of eggs was found in the trunk of Natalie Holt's 2006 KIA Soul.

LONDON - Simon Cowell of Britain's Got Talent said that he had no idea when he made his remark that he hates chickens, chicken eggs, and chicken jokes that it was going to come back to haunt him.

The fifty-three-year-old Cowell, AKA The Sultan of Sarcasm, was live on The BGT finale watching Adam and Richard Johnson sing when out of nowhere appeared a young lady dressed in a Tottenham Hotspur Lilywhites T-shirt, Daisy Duke short shorts, and carrying a carton of chicken eggs.

The egg tosser identified as Natalie Holt quickly began throwing the eggs at Cowell, actually hitting him twice. The first egg hit his left man boob and the third egg hit his belly button region.

One of the eggs reportedly hit BGT judge Amanda Holden, 52, on her right tata. She screamed out at Holt that she was nothing but a low-life, bottom-feeding, friggin evil demon who needs to go to effen hell.

SIDENOTE: It seems like it took forever for security to grab the eggcited egg tosser and take her backstage. One of the show's co-host's Anthony "Ant" McPartlin, 37, remarked that it was a good thing that the crazy bitch didn't have a bazooka.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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