JUPITER ISLAND, Florida - Golfing gigolo Tiger Woods has just announced that he has agreed to be the spokesman for a brand new line of condoms that will be available at drugstores, convenience stores, and retail stores throughout America within the month.
Woods giggled as he told Tapioca Swizzle with Tittle Tattle Tonight that there is probably no man in the entire United States who is more qualified to be a spokesperson for a condom line than him.
He showed Miss Swizzle several different types of the condoms which come in six fluorescent colors and are made from the strongest material known to man.
Woods said that the condom line has the unlikely name of A Hole In One Condoms.
He grinned as he took a sip from his bottle of avocado Gatorade and promised that the name will grow on you.
SIDENOTE: Tiger was asked if he plans on getting back together with Lindsey Vonn. He got a puzzled look on his face and remarked that Switzerland will invade China before that happens.