Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 8 June 2013

image for Bruce Willis Says That 50-Year-Old Demi Moore Needs To Stop Dating Boy Toys
Bruce says Demi has to accept that she no longer looks like she did in this photo. (photograph by Ashton Kutcher).

BEVERLY HILLS - Bruce Willis said that the best thing he ever did was to divorce Demi Moore.

The 58-year-old Die Hard star talked with Kiowa Kettle of Tittle Tattle Tonight at The Le Loins of Joan of Arc French Restaurant on Beverly Hills' Rodeo Drive.

He explained to her that he has had several conversations lately with his ex-wife and the mother of his three daughters, Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah.

Willis shook his head and said that it was like talking to that airhead Hollywood celebutante Paris Hilton.

He remarked that Demi was constantly fidgeting with her hair and asking him if he thought that she was pretty.

Bruce who has never been one to tactfully mince his words replied that she is pretty pitiful and she needs to stop pining over Ashton Kutcher.

He added that she has to accept the fact that just about 93 percent of all May-December relationships end up with the older woman getting her fragile, low self-esteemed heart broken.

He told her that she needs to realize that Ashton is now with a much younger, nicer, prettier, and sexier woman and he is going to marry Mila (Kunis) as soon as their divorce is final.

Willis said that the problem with his 50-year-old ex-wife is that she has no self-worth, no self-pride and that is why she is drawn to the boy-toy element who date her only to gain a few moments of fame.

SIDENOTE: Bruce told Miss Swizzle that the only way Demi is going to get her pathetic act together is to start dating men who are older than her and who will accept her wrinkles, cellulite, and pigeon toes.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 multiplied by 2?

1 4 21 11

Go to top