Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 31 May 2013

image for John Mayer Dumped Katy Perry and Now He Says He Wants Her Back
John says that he considers Katy Perry to be one of his best ever girlfriends.

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - There is no one in LaLaLand who has a worst reputation for loving 'em and leaving 'em that John "The Player" Mayer.

For some strange reason Mayer seems to attract attractive Hollywood celebrities like Wynonna Judd attracts weight loss program offers.

The 35-year-old has dated some of L.A.'s most beautiful women including Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, and Cameron Diaz.

He has also dated Taylor Swift who wrote at least two songs about him when they broke up.

Glamboyant Magazine's Savannah Kettle recently interviewed Mayer and she said that he expressed to her that he would love to get back with Katy Perry, whom he dumped after a lengthy relationship.

When asked why, Mayer stuck out his tongue and replied that Katy has two of the most sensuously gorgeous tata's in the entire state of California.

"Really?" Miss Kettle asked.

Mayer replied that he realizes that it may be kind of shallow for a guy to focus on a physical aspect of a woman's body but that's just the way it is and he is not going to change for anyone.

John was asked about the fact that he seems to go through celebrity lovers like Kirstie Alley goes through chocolate cupcakes.

He smiled, took a sip of his Aye Caramba Beer, and commented that he liked her analogy. He winked and added that he also liked her legs.

Miss Kettle informed him that her boyfriend is a heavyweight boxer who has a jealous streak as wide as the Mississippi River.

Mayer apologized and gave her an autographed CD and a fifty dollar bill.

In Late Breaking News. The producers of The Voice have stated that they do not plan on firing judge Adam Levine for his "I hate this country" remark. They did note that they are thinking of fining him $4,000.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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