Written by Adam Goldberg
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Monday, 27 May 2013

HOLLYWOOD, CA -- In an effort to "spice things up" and reverse the lowest television ratings since seaon two, American Idol producers have announced that a jalapeño will be the next judge on American Idol. The announcement comes just a few weeks following Randy Jackson's groundbreaking statement that he will be leaving the show to pursue other business ventures.

In an interview last week, Jackson addressed the recent news, hoping that this judge will replace the controversey that surfaced last season between Idol judges Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey, who will both not be returning for the show's thirteenth season. "With the jalapeño in the judge's chair, things should definitely get heated."

Last season's feud between Minaj and Carey reportedly hit its peak when Carey approached Minaj following the show, and demanded that if she didn't stop aggravating her, she would get "Jalapeño business." Well, Minaj didn't let up, as the producers listened and signed a Jalapeño to a contract.

While next season looks to be spicy, juicy and definitely heated, doughy food advocate and the show's host, Ryan Seacrest wants nothing to do with the show's latest PR stunt. "I don't want to come across as cheesy, but jalapeños and I, were just not meant to be. I can't take the heat and the drama that comes with it."

The show looks to rebound following a dissappointing year, and with the addition of jalapeño to the judge's table, all that is left to be added is mouthwatering talent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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