Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 26 May 2013

image for Kristen Stewart Goes Ballistic Over A Shopping Cart Incident
The Tall Timbers Supermarket aisle where Viperwater accidentally hit Stewart's shopping cart with his.

SAN FRANCISCO - Kristen Stewart flew up to San Francisco to get away from the LaLaLand rumor mills.

She recently had an incident where she shoved a reporter for the supermarket tabloid Say What?

According to the police report Kristen was shopping at a Tall Timbers Supermarket when Say What? reporter Skippy Viperwater accidentally hit her shopping cart with his.

A Tall Timbers employee said that Viperwater apologized but Stewart proceeded to make a big issue out of it. She reportedly yelled that she was a famous Hollywood actress who had come out in the Twilight Saga series movies.

She also bragged that she was the recent girlfriend of Rob Pattinson AKA RPattz.

Viperwater reportedly replied "So what? You still put on your bra one tit at a time huh?"

K-Stew yelled that he was not only mixing his metaphors but he was making up clich├ęs.

The supermarket tabloid reporter told her to get down off of her damn high horse and try and act like Scarlett Johansson who is a REAL actress.

SIDENOTE: K-Stew reportedly left her damaged shopping cart and contents and left the store in a huff.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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