Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 23 May 2013

image for Joan Rivers Caught Skinny Dipping In New York City's East River
Two of the NYPD squad cars that showed up at the East River. (Photo courtesy of Piers Morgan).

NEW YORK CITY - In a story that certainly fits the you gotta see it to believe it cliché, comedian Joan Rivers, 79, was caught swimming au naturel in the East River.

When NYPD officers approached Ms. Rivers they noticed a faint smell of Scotch coming from the woman who is known as The Queen of Mean.

Rivers was told to come out of the water with her hands up. She asked why they wanted her to put her hands up since they could see that she definitely did not have a gun or any other type of concealed weapon.

One citizen hollered out that Rivers had two little grenades. She hollered back that she could see that he was certainly getting his daily minimum requirement of stupid.

The man yelled back that if she didn't get out of the East River real quick the her body would get all ugly and wrinkled...he then quickly added, "Oops! Too late!"

NYPD officers took her into custody and wrapped her in a New York Yankees beach towel.

They then took her downtown and booked her for skinny dipping in the East River without a permit.

SIDENOTE: A spokesperson for the NYPD reported that two of the investigating officers will have to meet with a police department therapist due to the fact that they were severely traumatized at the site of the 79-year-old Rivers naked.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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