Written by IainB
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Monday, 20 May 2013

image for The Beatles to reform for the next Eurovision
Penny Lane was one of the Beatles biggest hits, although the song is actually about Allerton Road, that title didn't scan.

The UK's Eurovision Committee, chaired by Sebastian Coe, have employed the services of Sir Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and a black magician by the name of Alistair Darling for next year's Eurovision contest entry for the UK.

"Darling will employ the black arts to bring John Lennon and George Harrison back from the dead," said Coe. "At which point we will reform the Beatles."

The current plan is for John Lennon and Paul McCartney to write their first song together since the band split.

"It's going to be awesome," said Sir Paul. "I can't wait to see John again. I need him really to stop me writing songs like the Frog Chorus and Mull of Kintire."

After decades of getting nowhere in the competition, including Jemini's nil points, Engleburt's disaster and even Bonnie Tyler's vast European reputation failing to capture the points, the decision to reform the Beatles is seen by some as a waste of time.

"It's a waste of time," said Ringo Starr. "Obviously I'll be doing it, because the Thomas the Tank Engine money has run out, and I need the cash. But it's still a waste of time. We won't win."

Sebastian Coe is ambivalent about the Beatle's chances in the Europe wide song contest.

"It's not about winning," he said. "It's about proving a point. If the Beatles brought back from the dead cannot win it, it shows once and for all that the whole contest is about politics, and voting for your friends. Given that the UK has no friends in Europe, this explains our low point tally year after year. Finally, the people of the UK might actually get it, and stop getting worked up when we don't win."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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