Written by Ossurworld
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Monday, 20 May 2013

Who got to Gronk?

When the chips at Las Vegas casinos were ready to throw themselves at Gronk, he has bailed out of that trip to Hedonism.

Wiser heads may have told the overgrown man-child it was time to learn that the Promised Land was not out in the Nevada desert.

We can be certain that Patriots head coach Bill 'Don't Call Me Beelzebub, Bub' Belichick voted to call the whole thing off. We know the Coach Belichick says "Vanilla," and Gronk says, "vanella." So, the trip is off.

Instead of leading other wayward children on a jet spree to the Land where your secrets are safe, Gronk did not hop on that jet plane.

There was no word if Julian Edelman went by himself, but the jet company responsible for the most shocking trip since Orpheus went to hell has called it off.

Things have come to a pretty pass when the romance with Gronk grows flat. As much as Gronk likes la vida loca, goodness has prevailed.
Instead of a lost weekend, Gronk has chosen to relax ahead of his impending surgeries on his arm and then his back.

Whether you say eyether or eether, somebody has called the whole thing off. Whether Gronk wears pajamas or pajahmas, we know in Vegas he would have worn nothing. So, it was important to call the whole thing off before the photos and videos hit YouTube.

In a world where what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas and where snoopers with cameras are everywhere, Gronk decided to call the whole thing off.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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