Written by Ossurworld
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Sunday, 19 May 2013

Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman know how to plan a weekend. They threw open the door and seats on a private jet to Las Vegas to any fan with the wherewithal to pay for the privilege.

Four fans will be allowed to party as a prep to Gronk's impending surgeries (yes, plural)-as he faces a fourth and fifth operation on his forearm and a likely-go at his bulging spinal disk.

Edelman has been wearing one boot lately, and not out of style points-but because he has some unknown and inexplicable injury (only unknown to the media that never asks why).

The promo for the Gronk-Edelman flight states this all-expense paid trip is for an "intoxicating" weekend to remember. You better remember because you are funding it.

Apparently bragging rights have hit inflation's ceiling. The cost of the fun time with your new paid companions will be $40,000, not including gratuities stuffed into Gronk's undies.

If you are going up for sale to the highest bidder, Gronk, you should indeed be an expensive misunderstanding.

To engage in the role of a "JumpSeater" and have a "wicked" flight, you need to pay through the nose (which by the way also gives Gronk and Julian a free weekend, despite their new million dollar contracts).

Oh, as a salve for your empty bank account, the Patriot boys will sign some memorabilia as a throw-in. They might even sign your Abercrombie & Fitch jock strap to really make tongues wag.

Since Gronk will be in traction and in pain for the following ten weeks or so, missing time into the season, you may well be witness to Gronk's last stand for hedonism in Vegas.

No credit cards, thank you. Strictly debit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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