Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 13 May 2013

image for Kristen Stewart Says She Misses Rob Pattinson's Sexual Verbalizing
K-Stew is so desperate to get back with RPattz that she has offered to buy him a brand new Ferrari.

VENICE BEACH - Kristen Stewart the star of The Twilight Saga series was in Venice Beach shopping for a new pair of sunglasses.

She was asked if she has gotten over being dumped by her ex-boyfriend fellow Twilight Saga star Rob Pattinson.

Stewart shook her head and said that she still pines for Rob and hopes that one day he realizes that he will never ever find a girl like her.

K-Stew actually first made that comment to Larry King when she appeared on The Viagra View.

After Pattinson heard that she had made that remark, he grinned and said that he had dumped her because he no longer liked her so why in the world would he ever want to find another girl just like her.

Hollywood Innuendo reporter Fajita San Guacamole asked Kristen what she misses most about RPattz.

She paused for a moment and got that faraway look on her face and said that there are three things that she misses most about Robby.

First, she said that she misses the way he was always singing songs by the Beatles after they had finished their dinner.

Second, she noted that she misses hearing him tell his dozens and dozens of Sarah Palin jokes.

But Kristen said that the one thing she misses the most is his intimate sexual verbalizing.

She confessed to Miss San Guacamole that Rob was literally a top notch poet in that department.

In Other News. Zydeco Dupree writes in his book Trivia Territory that baby woodchucks develop in their mother's left nostril.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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