Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 8 May 2013

image for Dancing With The Stars: The Bachelor's Sean Lowe Dances Back To His Fiancée
Len Goodman says that he was given this pair of brown shoes by Queen Elizabeth for Valentine's Day back in 2003.

HOLLYWOOD - In a week when the British judge Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman had the biggest meltdown in the 16 season history of Dancing With The Stars, Sean Lowe, who was this year's Bachelor found himself in the dreaded Bottom 3 and eventually out the door.

Sean's partner, the stunningly erotic Peta Murgatroyd blames it all on the Old Hen Len because she is Australian and London native Goodman has said he does not like Australians.

In a shocking move, one of the favorites to win it all country singer Kellie "Golly Shucks" Pickler and her dance partner Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough also found themselves in the Bottom 3 along with Baltimore Raven wide receiver Jacoby "Eyeballs" Jones and his partner Karina "Vodka" Smirnoff.

Jacoby's mama, Emily could be heard screaming and hollering during the show and she called Len Goodman a no good, lime-sucking, archaic English dandy.

Miss Emily actually started walking towards the old Brit but was stopped by two DWTS security guards after they threatened to tase her.

Meanwhile Derek replied that something has to be done about the old English codger who seems to be stuck in the 60s.

Even fellow judge Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli said that he was embarrassed by the diva-like antics of Lenny, who is 69, but looks 89.

Carrie Ann Inaba who sits to the right of Goodman said that she suspects that perhaps the newlywed Englishman must have misplaced his Viagra pills.

In Other News. Jay Leno has stated that when he leaves The Tonight Show he may take it easy and collect food stamps for a couple of months since he will be entitled to them along with other unemployment benefits.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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