Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 5 May 2013

image for Ian Somerhalder, Rob Pattinson, and Honey Boo Boo To Star In The Dixieland Vampires
Ian Somerhalder as Homer Quibblequist playing the Dixieland song "Waiting On The Robert E. Lee."

HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon Films in association with TouchRock Pictures has just announced that filming will soon begin on the new Bandini Borrapelli film The Dixieland Vampires.

Borrapelli spoke with Pomona Vox of Silver Screen Showcase Magazine and informed her that the movie will be based on Valentina Bankbilly's epic novel by the same name.

Ian Somerhalder will star in the role of Homer Quibblequist, a studio musician/vampire from Detroit, who moves down to Biloxi, Mississippi, with his seven-year-old vampire daughter Twinkles, played by Alana Thompson AKA Honey Boo Boo.

One day while in the parking lot of a Burger Belle Restaurant Homer meets McFarland Loggerlittle, a local musician/pawn shop owner who is played by Rob Pattinson. The two immediately realize that both are vampires and they strike up a mutually respectful friendship.

Without giving away too much of the plot, Homer and McFarland end up forming a Dixieland band with little Twinkles as the featured singer.

The trio take the name The Dixieland Vampires and perform all up and down the Gulf Coast.

Towards the end of the motion picture Homer takes his daughter to an X-Factor audition at The Cotton Pickin Arena in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

She easily passes the audition and right before the movie's end credits start to role, we see her, her dad, and McFarland driving to Hollywood, where due to the tremendous influence that Homer and McFarland have, little Twinkles will no doubt end up winning the X-Factor's finale and the $5 million first prize.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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