Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 5 May 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan: I Ain't Going To Rehab And No One Can Make Me Go!
Lindsay could steal a suitcase full of money from the governor of California and she would simply be given probation.

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan apparently thinks that she is the Queen of The World as she has thumbed her nose (again) at the California judicial system treating them as if they are simply a whole bunch of Moe's, Larry's, Curly's, and Lucy's.

Lohan was to have reported to The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic to begin a 90-day stay on May 2, but it appears that it just did not fit into the Hollywood starlet's busy schedule.

Her lawyer said she was in a New York City rehab clinic and then he changed his concocted story and said she was at The Morning Side Rehab Estate in Newport Beach, but no one has any record of her checking in or even being on the premises.

So basically the little Hollywood super brat is a fugitive from the Left Coast justice system which has shown that they cannot seem to make Miss Lohan comply with any of their directives.

Texas Governor Rick Perry chimed in and said, "I tell ya what. It's a damn good thing that the little bitch ain't in Texas cause if she was I would have her sitting on Sparky and I would tell the law-breaking bonehead that if she doesn't straighten her damn self out I will be flipping the friggin switch myself."

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sparky is the infamous Texas electric chair.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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