Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 7 May 2013

image for Amanda Bynes Says She Wants To Be The New Lindsay Lohan
Amanda is such a fan of Lindsay Lohan that she has named her rescue dog "Freckles" after the actress.

HACIENDA HEIGHTS, California - Amanda Bynes was asked by Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors about the recent incident in Marina Del Rey where she was throw out of The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner.

The troubled Nickelodeon actress replied that apparently the maitre d had no sense of humor since he threw her out of the restaurant simply because he said she was dressed like one of the bearded guys on Duck Dynasty.

She said that she has made an appointment to meet with Los Angeles attorney Bubby Fubblefite about suing the eating establishment on grounds of Defamation of De Facto Linguini.

The 27-year-old actress who was born in Thousand Oaks, said that the incident has really left her abundantly traumatized (her term).

She noted that the fact that she is about 35 pounds overweight does not help the embarrassing situation one bit.

Miss Rangoon asked her about the rumor that she has said that her goal is to be the next Lindsay Lohan. Bynes took a bite out of her bacon and spinach sandwich and answered that, that is exactly her goal.

She was then asked about the incident where she is alleged to have flashed both of her boobs to employees at a Burger Doll Restaurant in La Brea.

Bynes stated giggling and said that it was true except that it was just one boob (the left one) and it was at a Burger Bandit in La Habra.

SIDENOTE: Amanda recently told The View's Whoopi Goldberg that she is extremely proud of her beauty salon movie trilogy, Hairspray and the two sequels Curlers and Bangs.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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