Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 4 May 2013

image for Amanda Bynes Tossed Out Of A Seafood Diner
The lobster which Amanda ordered at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner.

MARINA DEL REY - Former Nickelodeon star and the latest celebrity train wreck to come out of Tinsel Town, Amanda Bynes was spotted at The Vicious Guppy Seafood Diner where she was literally attacking her Lobster meal with a fork and Ginsu knife.

The head maitre d, Jacques DuChevrolet finally walked over and asked her if she would like a ball peen hammer or perhaps a pickaxe. Bynes looked up and with a glassy stare asked, "Are you kidding me fella?"

DuChevrolet replied that he was not kidding and remarked that his name was not fella.

According to a patron sitting at the next table the maitre d then told Miss Bynes that she would have to leave the establishment because she was upsetting the other patrons with her barbaric-like eating habits, as well as with her lumberjack camp language, and her backwoods appearance.

Mandy, as Rush Limbaugh calls her, asked to see the manager. DuChevrolet reached in his wallet and pulled out a photo. He showed it to her as he informed her that the man in the photo was the manager.

He then told her that he was presently having a fantastic time vacationing in Rome, Italy.

Bynes chin almost hit the table. The maitre d who was now grinning like the Cleveland cat that swallowed the Cincinnati canary leaned down towards Bynes and loud enough for those at the surrounding tables to hear exclaimed, "So FEL-LA, I'll be right back with a to go box"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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