Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 4 May 2013

image for Dolly Parton Says Nicki Minaj Wears Way Too Much Make Up
Nicki Minaj gets all of her makeup ideas from her personal makeup artist Jazzy Nippernoodle.

NEW YORK CITY - The self-proclaimed Queen of Looking Cheap Dolly Parton has just remarked that American Idol judge Nicki Minaj wears so much gosh darn make up that she looks like a Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus clown.

The 67-year-old Parton recently appeared on The Viagra View with Larry King and Regis Philbin.

Talk got around to the Trinidad singer and Dolly asked the two old gents "Say y'all doesn't dat Minaj woman have a mirror or what?"

King giggled and said that it is apparent that she doesn't. Philbin smiled and said that in her eyes she probably sees herself as a ravishing beauty kind of like Rihanna but without all of the Chris Brown BS.

Parton who has had such country hits as "Jolene," "Here You Come Again," "Coat of Many Colors," and "We Snuck Out To The Lower 40, Where He Taught Me All About Crop Rotating" pointed out that Nicki Minaj has no damn business being on American Idol because compared to Mariah Carey, she's a T-ball player and Mariah Carey is in the Major Leagues.

Dolly said that she thought that she had a big butt until she saw the gigantic caboose that follows Miss Nicki around.

Parton giggled and said that the son-of-a-gun butt could easily double as a drinks table.

In Holiday News. May 10, is National Windmill Day, except in the state of Maine, where there are no windmills simply because there is no wind.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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