Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 May 2013

image for Lindsay Lohan Shows Up At The Wrong Rehab Clinic
The front of The Morning Side Rehab Estate where Lindsay mistakenly showed up. (Photo courtesy of Gary Busey).

NEWPORT BEACH, California - Lindsay Lohan is without a doubt the luckiest female in the entire United States.

The Hollywood Starbrat has committed all kinds of misdemeanors, automobile accidents, jewelry thefts, parole violations, and she still continues to be treated as if she is some kind of Saudi Arabian princess worth billions and billions of dollars.

Just as Kate Gosselin stated, truth be told Miss Lohan is a perfect example of what is wrong with the California legal system.

The mother of eight continued by saying that just because Lindsay is sexually attractive she keeps getting preferential treatment.

Gosselin the pointed out the same old lame song and dance excuse about Lohan being sentenced to prison for 45 days and only serving 45 minutes due to...prison overcrowding no longer holds water.

If any other non-celebrity female had done what she had done her caboose would be sitting in The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women, no if's, and's, or but's.

But since its the freckle faced Golden Girl she apparently has some kind of fantastically fabulous immunity.

Lindsay jokes about symbolically spitting in the face of the Left Coast legal system. She brags that she could steal an armored truck using a grenade launcher, get caught, and be found not guilty by reason of Ipso Prima Donnaistic Divapoofitis.

The 26-year-old celebutante was due to do her rehab stay at The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic in Los Angeles but she instead showed up at The Morning Side Rehab Estate in Newport Beach.

Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors is reporting that Lohan showed up at the Morning Side Rehab Estate on purpose knowing full well that it is the most lacks rehab clinic in the entire country.

Miss Rangoon reported that Morning Side had their license suspended back in 2011, due to the clinic cafeteria serving food that had 9 times the normal amount of carbohydrates.

The clinic was also sited for having pillow cases made out of old newspapers as well as having surveillance cameras installed in the womens shower stalls.

SIDENOTE: iRumors is reporting that Lindsay has texted the judge in her case and said that if she is allowed to spend the 90 days of rehab at Morning Side she promises to behave when she gets out in 90 days or 15 with good behavior.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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