Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 May 2013

image for Arkansas Bans The TV Series Hannibal
Gladiola Gertrude Ditchdollar, 83, said that she could only stomach watching 19 seconds of the TV show "Hannibal."

LITTLE ROCK - The Mads "Madman" Mikkelsen series Hannibal has already been banned in Arkansas.

The entertainment news agency iRumors reports that the Arkansas State Senate deemed that the show is positively inappropriate for viewing by any of Arkansas's wonderful citizens.

Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors said that a state wide poll was taken on banning the horrendously horrendous show and the results came out 1,793,104 to 3 to ban the ultra scary show.

One resident of Arkadelphia who gave her name and age as Gladiola Gertrude Ditchdollar, 83, stated that she viewed about 19 seconds of one of the episodes and that was enough for her.

She said that she got goose bumps, a headache, a stomach ache, and she could literally feel both of her ovaries pulsating within her body.

Mrs. Ditchdollar also stressed the fact that since viewing the awful scene she has not been able to eat cornbread, M&M's, or sardines.

SIDENOTE: A show spokesperson when told of Arkansas's state-wide ban giggled and replied that the vast majority of people in Arizona absolutely love the show.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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