Written by Ossurworld
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Topics: Dwight Howard

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Dwight Howard will never be mistaken for Happy one of the Seven Dwarves. With the Lakers swept out of the first round of the playoffs, the man who wanted LA-LA-Land to be his Dreamland has found out to be careful what you wish for.

Howard wished upon being a star in LA. It now appears he has shrunk in the role. He is eligible now only to play one of the Seven Dwarves.
In a recent interview he lamented his woeful condition, which made him seem a little like Grumpy.

Howard was never Bashful when it came to expressing his deepest feelings. No, he didn't have any dark secrets to admit in the mode of Jason Collins, at least not this season.

You almost have to think Howard is a big Dopey for his self-pity party that life happens-and not only for the best. If you asked him, maudlin would be his favorite color.

After years of hearing the same refrain, you could excuse fans if they all seem like Sleepy.

Howard's recent lamentation that all he wants is to be happy almost made us go into a Sneezy-style allergy fit.

For a man who has left a wake of NBA coaches and players in a daze, you might think that David Stern ought to seek out a Doc to treat this giant midget man. Though we seldom admit to be a 'doc', we are not qualified to heal this heel.

Unlike Sleeping Beauty, this axe man has made his own bed and now seems reluctant to sleep in it. You'd think he'd realize the wolves are at the door at his behest (in the sheep's form of your loveable media members).

Alas, Dwight Howard doesn't get it because even Atlas couldn't lift the ego on that star. He is soon a free agent, but he is really a double agent, twice the trouble.

Does Rondo still covet him for the Celtics?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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