Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Tuesday, 30 April 2013

image for Oprah Winfrey Tells Reese Witherspoon To Stop Acting Like Lindsay Lohan
An Atlanta Police squad car with Reese Witherspoon and her husband crouching down in the backseat.

CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey, regarded by many as the Queen of Talk Shows, still likes to flex her telecasting muscles every now and then.

Winfrey speaking from her home in The Windy City stated that Reese Witherspoon needs to stop acting like she is a Lindsay Lohan clone.

This past week Reese was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after her husband Jimmy "Pickles" Toth was stopped while weaving on a highway outside of Atlanta.

Upon investigation Toth was charged with peeking into a neighbor's barn and trying to steal a milk goat.

He denied it saying that he hates goat's milk and he is allergic to barns.

The Atlanta Police Department did not buy his story and he was booked along with his former blonde wife Reese Witherspoon.

Winfrey went on to say that she is tired of seeing little starlet divas like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Reese Witherspoon think that just because they are in the public eye they are immune to the laws of the land.

Witherspoon did apologize and said that she promises that in the future she will do her very best to keep from acting like that troubled, freckle faced, loser Lindsay Lohan.

To view a mug shot of Reese Witherspoon along with seventeen photographs of her wearing a very skimpy camouflage swimsuit go to www.reesewitherspoonpix.law

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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