Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 26 April 2013

image for NASCAR'S Danica Patrick's Divorce Is Finally Final - Charlie Sheen and Russell Brand Both Say "Yummy!"
Danica and Ricky plan on racing at The Gary Busey International Speedway in Tarzana, California on May 25.

MARICOPA COUNTY, Arizona - NASCAR racer Danica Patrick's seven year marriage to Dr. Paul Hospenthal has finally been finalized.

The 31-year-old Patrick told Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily that she felt relieved and was feeling as happy as a hawk at a pigeon convention.

Danica received the notice from Maricopa County Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio who told her that now she was free to date whomever she wanted to and to participate in any kind of lewd act if she had a mind to.

The racer who drives a number 10 Chevrolet simply smiled, brushed back her hair, and stuck out her tongue as far as it would go.

Danica told Reno that she wanted to wish her ex-husband, who is 17 years older than her, the very best and she hoped that he would find a woman closer to his own age.

The SBID reporter told Danica that he heard that when Charlie Sheen and Russell Brand both found out about her divorce being final they both replied with the same word..."Yummy!"

Danica blushed and said that she was flattered but quickly added that right now the only guy who is going to be sampling all of her girly goodies is fellow race car driver Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.

SIDENOTE: According to Glamboyant Magazine Danica and Ricky will be flying down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where they will be staying for four days and four nights at the exquisite Puffy Taco Resort & Casino which is co-owned by Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyler.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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